If you are only paying peanuts, you gotta expect monkeys.

Wise words from an old boss of mine. I’m in the work mindset because you see, in case I haven’t raved enough about it…..

I have a meeting/interview tomorrow for possible employment!

Full-time employment at that. A job that fits the description of what I have been looking for. People based work for a company that is all about social sustainability and basically making improvements for all mankind in the future. What is even better, is that they sought me out. I have been doing bits and pieces for the company since I took up my tenancy 12 months ago. By now, there are few staff who haven’t seen my face in theirs.

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Sounds good right? So why the f@#! am I feeling so cynical?

I take just being thought of as a huge compliment! Don’t get me wrong. The factor that needs to be considered here is…..what was it again……oh yeah I’M A BIG OLD BOWL OF F@#!ING CRAZY!

Here is where my head has gone. Is this job going to be worth missing out on the kids growing up? If you add up the numbers of hours in childcare vs income plus hours left over. At the end of the day, with fuel, OOSH and daycare plus losing centrelink would mean a lot of costs I don’t currently have to factor in (such as rego and private health insurance). My rent would also almost double. At the base rate of entry level work, the extra $20 000 (I have estimated after investigation) would still leave me in pretty much the same financial position with double the responsibilities.

However! I am a worker. It is my thing. I love to work doing pretty much anything. I go mental without it hence the fact I did as much volunteer work as possible over the past 9 months. I love it, even the bad days, I still, at heart, love it. I believe I am very good with people, especially given that I am not a fan of society in general.

Bare in mind, I know nothing concrete about this job yet…

….Not the pay, the exact hours other than the fact it is full-time, the responsibilities (I have looked quite deeply into the general area online, love what I see). I may not even qualify. I have completely turned my mind inside out making contingency plans for a job we are just discussing…..with one of the heads of the company…tomorrow. I do fear being unreliable though. Having kids means….germs, germs everywhere! These always appear at the most inopportune times.

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Without family support, this means that the buck stops with me. My child is sick and I have to drop everything and get them. I don’t have anyone else to call on to help me out on a regular basis. If you put even that aside, I have the eldest kids half of the holidays. I don’t get to see much of them. So in theory, if I could afford $92 a day for the eldest two alone to go to OOSH, I still miss out on time with them. Again, what if they get sick? Am I able to obtain said care?

So there is the most part of my brain. I have full faith in the fact I could very well thrive in the job. It is a great pathway to BIG THINGS! So far so good on the people I have worked with too. Like I said, I am a worker and I hate living below the poverty line. I don’t mind working double to get back a half. I hate relying on centrelink even more so.

Which brings me to my work experience.I don’t do office politics. I generally try to avoid office gossip and can promise you that if I don’t like someone, it is because of who they are as a person and nothing to do with what they’ve done at work or otherwise. We still have to work together so I will smile and do my best to help them out. I figure the better supported the individual is, the easier everyone’s job will be in the end. I am very well aware this is not a thought that has crossed everyone’s mind. TOO AWARE. Hence how I heard the title of this post. There were also some amazing people to stand above others that I happily grit my teeth through hours to work five minutes with. I work hard and often at the capacity of 3-8.7 people when I am in my element.

Anyway, there wasn’t much point I was getting to here, I guess I just wanted to talk the insecurity out. In the end, I think my concern is less about the workload and if I can do it. Not a worry about co-workers, managers or clients but

a. If the job is a fairly well paying one, am I going to be able to excel and earn it?

b. If the job leaves me just as financially insecure, despite dancing to make it work, will I miss out on being a mum because I am doing circus work?

I do know one thing though. It is definitely pursuing! Wish me luck!

Stay tuned….

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